addiction

Sex addiction can be managed with a recovery programme and therapy but whilst in the grips of this addiction, sufferers cannot escape their obsessive and compulsive behaviour. Often sex addiction is experienced with other addictive behaviours such as drug use and eating disorders. They are all behaviours of the same disease of addiction.

Similar to other addictions such as drug addiction and alcohol addiction, sex addiction is based on obsessive and compulsive needs. The behaviour of a sex addict can include repeated empty affairs, compulsive masturbation, frequent use of prostitutes and other sex services and in extreme cases can even progress to exhibitionism, voyeurism, child molestation and rape.

Sex addicts however are not bad people. Their condition is not a moral failing: It is a spiritual unrest.

Why is Sex Addiction So Destructive?

In some Twelve Step fellowship support groups, ‘bottom line behaviour’ is identified. Bottom line behaviour is a term used to define the specific sex addict’s behaviours which they act out on.

Most sex addicts experience ‘intrigue’ which is the mental preoccupation with sexual acts. Objectifying people, constant obsession with sexual acts, flirting and generally spending much time with the preoccupation of sex is the mental state of a sex addict. These obsessions are then followed by the compulsive acting out on sexual behaviours.

Sex addiction is progressive. It may begin with compulsive masturbation and an affinity for pornography which then develops into a serious problem involving the use of prostitutes, money troubles, families being broken up and unemployment, further to which suicide can be a consequence.

When sex addiction has progressed to a severe level, the sex addict is unable to resist the impulse to act out on their sexual behaviours. They become more involved with the behaviours for longer periods of time, with greater intensity and violence to have the desired effect, resulting in their responsibilities being neglected. Without being able to fulfil their obsession and act out on the behaviour, they become irritable, restless and angry. Despite the desire to abstain and stop the sexual compulsivity because their lives are beginning to crumble, they are unable to do so. They are powerless over their sexual addiction and their lives begin to become completely unmanageable. 

Treatment

Sex addiction is treatable, but incurable. Yet with therapy, abstinence from the disordered sexual behaviours and maintaining a programme of recovery on a daily basis, a sex addict can regain a normal life again. Inpatient treatment in a counselling centre can be extremely beneficial to a sex addict seeking help for their problem. Many sex addicts will be in a state of denial about their problem but once they have admitted that they have a problem, they can begin the healing recovery process.

Inpatient treatment will usually provide group therapy and individual therapy which have been found to be the most successful methods of dealing with sex addiction. Treatment facilities are a safe place for sex addicts to recover where they can process their condition with experienced and understanding people. They need never be alone in their struggle again.

Whilst in a rehabilitation centre, a sex addict will need to begin working a daily programme of recovery, such as the Twelve Steps. There are fellowships which are devoted to helping sex addicts receive support and help in their behaviour. For a sex addict to be abstinent from the behaviour does not mean that they must stay celibate for the rest of their life - it is a normal human behaviour to engage in sexual acts, just not ones which begin to destroy their lives and keep them in a terrible cycle of shame and self loathing. A sex addict who turns to celibacy as a way of dealing with the problem is not addressing the root cause - similar to a ‘dry drunk’.

With proper treatment and therapy, coupled with a programme of recovery, a sex addict can begin to lead a happy and normal life again. A recovery programme will keep a sex addict aware of their behaviours and dangerous situations which may lead to relapse and will teach them tools to cope with daily life.

Anonymous sex or one-night stands is a sexual attraction to strangers and is common to single and young people although married individuals engage into such act as well. Also known as casual sex, this act takes away the factor to love, commitment, and affection to another individual.

Paying or trading for sex. Addiction is commonly attributed to use of men or women prostitutes.

Paying-for-sex or paying-for-phone sex is a business arrangement and not an intimate genuine connection between parties. Trading-for-sex is the flip side. Instead of paying-for-sex, the addict receives money or drugs or uses sex as a business. Sex is no longer a personal experience rather it is already treated as a commodity.  Whether the person is paying or trading for sex, it is already treated as a necessity to satisfy personal needs.

Exhibitionistic includes flashing of body parts in public, posing nude for pictures or videos. Since genuine contact is not present, the excitement comes from the reaction of his or her audience, whether positive or negative.

Voyeuristic sex is observing people engage in sex, rather than engaging in sex yourself. Voyeuristic individual tends to be aroused by pornographic pictures, magazines and books, pornographic films, online pornographies, peep shows, or watching people naked or have sex.

Intrusive sex is focused on touching others in a sexual way. This includes touching of breasts, penis, vagina, buttocks, or vulva without permission. People who fall under this category tend to harass others sexually. This may involve people of authority, power or position.

Seductive role sex involves persuading, charming or manipulating others into sexual contact, treating the other person as a challenge, rather than an individual to connect with. There is no emotional contact with this type of person as his only goal is to seduce her and make her a sex object. People who are addicted into seductive role sex often have multiple sex partners, extramarital affairs, and/or have unsuccessful relationships.